“At its root, self-forgiveness is a choice.”- Dr. Gary Chapman
Gary Chapman concludes Chapter 12 of Anger with steps four and five of a positive approach to processing anger.
4. Choose to forgive yourself. Dr. Chapman states forgiving yourself has much in common with forgiving someone who has sinned against you. You feel pained at your wrongdoing and wish you never had sinned. However, as the author explains, self-destructive thoughts displease God. Therefore, since God has forgiven you, you do not have the right to condemn yourself. Furthermore, Gary describes the process of self-forgiveness:
“Now it is time to forgive ourselves. We must choose to do so. No positive purpose is served by berating ourselves explosively or implosively. All such behavior is destructive and thus a sinful response to our anger. This too needs to be confessed to God. Choosing to forgive ourselves is best done in the context of prayer, letting God witness our self-forgiveness.”
As Dr. Chapman emphasizes, forgiveness releases you from the prison of your past failures. Self-forgiveness gives you the freedom to make the most of the future.
5. Focus on positive action. Self-forgiveness puts you in position to change the course of your life. Rather than developing failure amnesia, choose to learn from your failures. In addition, take positive steps to make your future brighter.
Gary defines unconditional love as “a true effort to enhance someone else’s life simply because we care about him or her.” God does this for us every day. Whether or not an individual responds positively, you know you have followed the teachings of Jesus. Hence, take comfort in that knowledge.
Today’s question: Which of Dr. Chapman’s five steps resonate most with you? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Responding to angry people”
