T. D. Jakes (Let It Go) describes three basic ways people internalize their reaction to being wounded:
1. The insulator– wraps him/herself in a protective layer that keeps people from penetrating the heart and creating additional hurt. The possibility of human intimacy is smothered by the fear that what happened in the past will recur. Subtle signals communicate the message not to get too close.
2. The isolator– as this description implies, rejection is avoided via isolation. As Bishop Jakes states, “isolators remain alone in a crowd” and “feel safest in a perpetual state of suspended dislocation”. An isolator wastes a great deal of energy because such behavior requires constant vigilance.
3. The inhibitor– has a pessimistic, frustrated mindset, despite anything positive that might be accomplished, akin to putting water into a bucket riddled with holes. Past wounds are like an itch that never goes away because it’s constantly being scratched.
Do you see yourself reacting in one of these ways at times? The good news is that once you have identified a behavior, you can take it to the Lord in prayer, stepping out of your boat to walk on water with Jesus.