Brian Jones adds that an additional effect of showing kindness is that it softens our hearts and remind us of the true condition of our souls. However, this is not characteristic of our initial reaction to being hurt. It’s really quite understandable that our first focus is on the offender’s faults.
Pastor Jones explains: “It’s an understandable trap to fall into, because when we are hurt we do need to step back and analyze the situation to see how we should respond appropriately. However, most of us stay in that posture a little too long, and over time we become comfortable viewing life from that vantage point.”
Objectivity becomes a casualty of pain. However, when we are able to come to the realization that our offender shares our same humanity and need for a Savior, Brian Jones notes that our forgiveness process already has begun.