The cost of forgiveness

By Dave Henning / April 17, 2015

Today Sara Horn concludes her discussion of five myths we fall for when it comes to forgiveness.

3.  Myth: Forgiveness requires reconciliation.  While forgiveness isn’t optional, settling differences or restoring a relationship isn’t always possible.  Someone else generally is part of the conflict equation, and we can’t control or dictate their actions and choices.  Although some things cannot be restored, Sara encourages us to learn, grow, and move on.

4.  Myth: Forgiveness requires an apology.  Sara points out that many of think offering forgiveness is contingent upon our offender specifically asking us to forgive him/her.    Sara explains why this is not true:

“We can forgive without someone asking for it because we recognize that what is sufficient for us is not the right  behavior of someone else but the grace God gives us, recognizing that in our weakest moments, God’s strength is greater, and it’s by his hand we can forgive.”

5.  Myth: Forgiveness doesn’t cost anything.  Sara believes that we are reluctant to forgive for one of two reasons: (1) we don’t acknowledge the cost of forgiveness or (2) we do realize the cost, but we’re not willing to pay the price.   Although forgiveness costs us our claim for justice as well as a part of ourselves, Sara emphasizes that “what we receive in place of what’s given far outweighs the price.

Today’s question: What hurdles have made you reluctant to take on the cost of forgiveness?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: Overcoming discord”

About the author

Dave Henning

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