In Chapter 3 of The End of Me, Kyle Idleman describes six verbal symptoms of a prideful heart. The first two symptoms are discussed today.
You may be a Pharisee if . . .
1. you catch yourself saying, “You aren’t going to talk like that to me!” When pride takes over, we become defensive. We’re unwilling to listen to criticism or correction. It’s like undiplomatic immunity. A prideful attitude also assumes a hierarchy in which we outrank the other person.
Pastor Idleman adds we might be thinking no one is offering us advice because they can’t find anything to criticize. The truth may be closer to this: no one is offering us advice because they know it won’t go well if they try.
2. you catch yourself saying, “I’m not going to be the one to apologize.” Kyle cautions that the proud are magnetically attracted to conflict. Solomon wrote in Proverbs 13:10: “Pride only leads to arguments.” Squabbles can become epic because apologizing requires humility.
Forgiveness brings on the agony of defeat. Proud people obsess about being undefeated in arguments and love to wait out the worst disagreements. They may hold out for decades hoping everything blows over. In the unlikely event a proud person apologizes, he/she will qualify that apology: “I’m sorry- but . . .” And that type of apology never seems to work.
Today’s question: Have you ever dug in your heels and refused to apologize? What was the result of your decision? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Define fair”