June Hunt continues her discussion of seven misunderstandings about forgiveness (Chapter 3, How to Forgive) by comparing forgiveness and reconciliation. She also states that forgiveness is not a feeling.
2. Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. Forgiveness does not equate with instant reconciliation. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you turn back the clock and start over as if the offense never took place. Ms. Hunt contrasts forgiveness and reconciliation.
Forgiveness
a. can lead to reconciliation
b. is one-way
c. requires nothing at all from the offender
Reconciliation
a. sometimes is not warranted or even possible
b. is two-way
c. requires a change in the offender’s behavior
When we forgive, we unilaterally and unconditionally cancel the debt. June writes: We don’t bury the hatchet, but we do drop the stone.”
3. Forgiveness is not a feeling. June emphasizes that forgiveness is a decision, an act of the will. We choose to let go of our claim against the offender, as God asks, and hand the claim over to Christ. Know that if you have “Christ in you” (Colossians 1:27), His supernatural nature and power is at your disposal. You can do what you feel you cannot do.
In nineteenth-century Russia, only the czar’s family was permitted to own “Imperial Topaz.” Ms. Hunt describes what happens when we release our grip on the rock offense that leaves us emotionally immobile:
“You can choose to release your grip and watch God fashion your feelings into a forgiving spirit. You can choose to hand that stone over to the Master Miner. From it, He will create something even more valuable than you could envision- even more valuable than Imperial Topaz.”
Today’s question: Have you ever equated forgiveness and reconciliation? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “From your hook to God’s hook”
