In Chapter 1 (“The Pen- Where is God?”) of Finding God in the Ruins, Matt Bays suggests the best approach to dealing with hurting people is simply being present. By simply being present, you are God’s hands to hurting people. You are willing to stand with them, even if they stop believing. Pastor Bays offers these appropriate words of simply being present:
“I’m so sorry for all you are going through. You are going to make it, and I’m going to be there for you if you need me. You don’t need to be anything other than what you are in this moment.”
Matt believes we should consider another possibility why God has placed hurting people in our lives. Perhaps they are God’s gift to us. As we stand with them, they are teaching us how to grieve, how to plumb the depths of despair and survive, how to find grace.
Matt explains why it is so difficult for us when pain gets personal:
” . . . we have little patience for survival that looks like depression, despair, or unbelief, because if we allow others unbelief, we have to allow ourselves unbelief. If we allow others despair, we realize that we ourselves could also despair.”
Simply being present means we must listen, not presume. We need to listen to, feel, and hear the stories of hurting people- then take a deep breath before we speak a word. Matt emphasizes that we must struggle to understand “what we would need if their story were our story.”
Today’s question: What friends have helped you by simply being present following your ministry downsizing or vocation loss? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Redemption”
