“And if you doubt what happened, wondering if it really mattered, let the pain be your litmus test. Where pain is present, a wound exists.”- Matt Bays
In Chapter 13 (“Someone Else’s Story- Telling Your Story”) of Finding God in the Ruins, Matt Bays asserts that telling the truth is not easy. It’s not because we are liars, but because it is easier to tell a version of the truth. However, the truth never is inappropriate.
Some things in life fall away from us and never are heard from again- until an old picture in a photo album reminds us that it happened. Such is not the case with painful memories like a ministry downsizing or vocation loss, as Pastor Bays describes:
“Those cruelties aren’t stuck into old photo albums for us to thumb through. Instead they are emblazoned on the walls of our hearts like stubborn wallpaper that won’t budge.”
Expect painful passages to come when you tell the truth- the whole truth. If the pain becomes overwhelming, take a break from your story. When you are good and ready, return to it, as Matt encourages: ” . . . plan to finish the book, because there’s a beautiful ending to it.”
We authenticate who we really are by telling our stories. Telling the truth isn’t nearly as painful as holding it in. As writer Anne Lamott says:
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories . . . If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better.”
Today’s question: Using pain as your litmus test, how have you neglected to care for your internal wounds? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Our healing gift”
