Pastor Tom Eggebrecht begins Chapter 12 (“Learn to Say No “) of Fully and Creatively Alive with this strong emphasis. He underscores that “learning to say ‘no’ is one way toward loving yourself and taking charge of the things you do in order to be fully and creatively alive.” Hence, Tom stresses: “Learn to say ‘no.’ Often.” Successful platform builder and leadership guru Michael Hyatt admits he finds it hard to say “no.”
As a result, Mr. Hyatt used that experience to create a list of consequences that occur when we refuse to say “no.” If we fail to get better at saying “no”:
- other peoples priorities then take precedence over ours
- mere acquaintances crowd out time with family and close friends
- rest and recovery time shrinks
- frustration and stress result
- saying “yes” to important things gets forfeited
Therefore, when you learn to say “no”, you send people the message that your time and effort have value. In addition, knowing your purpose (calling) and setting goals makes it much easier to know when to deny a request.
Hence, to say “no” in the proper way shows your respect for others. Simply ignoring a request, on the other hand, signals disrespect. According to Brian de Haaff, CEO of Aha!, here’s what you should do:
- completely listen to, and take in, a request when it is made
- as you listen, get to the heart of the request
- know your own goal and vision
- respond “yes” or “no” as quickly as possible
- especially if your answer is a “no”, show transparency about why you’re denying the request
In conclusion, Tom underscores, don’t fear letting people know your limitations. Often a “no” leads to a “yes” to the things that really matter. In addition, establishing borders makes you much more productive and likely much more happy creating things that make you feel fully and creatively alive.
Today’s question (from Tom): Which thing in your live do you need to say “yes” to the most? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Resist the Resistance”
