“We have not discovered the beauty in sorrow, so we try to get out of pain as quickly as possible. . . . But life will let all of us down, and we need a way to talk about it — a way we have lost along the way.”- Esther Fleece
In Chapter 1 (“God Wants Our Soul”) of No More Faking Fine, Esther Fleece makes an astute observation about pain. She states that whether your pain is (a) the result of others’ sinfulness or (b) due to your own deliberate sin and disobedience, the pain always goes somewhere. Therefore, you need to face your pain and grieve your losses. Also, in order to do that, you need a grid for grief.
Furthermore, the expectations of others as well as our self-imposed demands apply an incredible amount of pressure. In fact, this pressure may be so significant that we default to faking fine. We want to avoid the perception that we’re weak or in need. Yet, our inability to neatly put things together and chart them out creates time, space, and quiet. God then uses that time to expose our unhealthy normal and wrong patterns of identity.
Hence, during such times, you must allow God to transform you in the midst of your pain. Walking you through your painful seasons reveals God’s kindness. You learn to break the habit of faking fine. As a result, you trust God and truly live, rather than waiting for God to deliver you from your circumstances.
In conclusion, D. A. Carson (Trinity Evangelical Divinity School) ties it all together:
“There is no attempt in Scripture to whitewash the anguish of God’s people when they undergo suffering. They argue with God, they complain to God, they weep before God. Theirs is not a faith that leads to dry-eyed stoicism, but to a faith so robust it wrestles with God.”
Today’s question: Following your ministry downsizing or vocation loss, how have you tried to get out of pain as quickly as possible? Please share.
SPECIAL NOTE: on March 21, 2017 Crown hosted its 300,000th visitor. Thanks be to God!
Tomorrow’s blog: “He also really wants our soul”
