“It’s [forgiveness] more than just dealing with your feelings, it’s forgiving someone specific.”- Kyle Idleman
“Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done.”- 2 Timothy 4:14
In Chapter 6 (“More Prevailing Than Your Vengeance”) of Grace Is Greater, Kyle Idleman asks what happens when forgiveness is personal. How do you handle forgiveness when someone intentionally tries to hurt you? Furthermore, you trusted in, counted on, and loved that someone!
As Pastor Idleman observes, it’s natural, sometimes even appropriate, to get angry. However, Kyle cautions, we can’t allow anger to turn to bitterness:
“But when anger turns into bitterness it becomes toxic. We need to get rid of it. After enough setting suns (see Ephesians 4:26), those feelings can become a part of you. What was done to you begins to shape your identity. What was said to you begins to define you.”
Therefore, forgiveness needs to go further. It needs to involve forgiving someone specific. In the process, grace flows. Yet, Kyle cautions, don’t confuse simple with easy as you consider the following four steps on the journey of grace. Today, Kyle talks about the first two steps.
1. Acknowledge it. The apostle Paul lived out forgiveness in real life. Alexander the metalworker (coppersmith- NLT) caused Paul much pain.
Sometimes, though we pretend nothing happened. As a result, we seek to sweep our hurt under the rug. But, such efforts fail. If we refuse to acknowledge our hurt, we can’t forgive.
2. Release your rights. While Paul didn’t minimize Alexander’s hurt, he chose to release his right to take revenged. In other words, Paul waived his right to retaliate. Paul released Alexander over to God.
Kyle describes what happens when we retain our right to retaliate:
“When we insist on holding on to our right to get even, we put ourselves in God’s place. It’s a way of saying, ‘God, I don’t think you can handle this. I don’t think you can handle this. I don’t trust you to take care of me. So I am going to deal with the situation myself.’ ”
Today’s question: Do you have a situation where you need to consider forgiving someone specific? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Pray for those who mistreat you”