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Your protectors cling to outdated beliefs

By Dave Henning / September 12, 2018

“Protectors want to avoid shame at all costs.  They want you to believe they’re your best bet for staying safe and strong.  Your protectors need to know that the Holy Spirit in you is more powerful than their habits and outdated beliefs to which they’ve clung — they can let your Spirit-led self take the lead.”- Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller

As Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller continue Chapter 7 of Boundaries for Your Soul, they discuss how to unburden an exile.  First, the authors underscore what possibly happens when you first pay attention to an exile.  Emotions flood your soul.  As a result, the temptation arises to give up on completing the hard work of addressing your past.

However, Alison and Kim note, once you’re present with your soul’s vulnerable parts, ask them not to overwhelm you.  Relieved that you’re taking the lead, they calm down.

Yet, your exile still may harbor fears about releasing the burden of painful beliefs and emotions.  Even after the exile gains your trust.  Thus, when confronted by change, exiles express five common fears:

  1. The fear that no one will remember all the pain I’ve experienced.  Therefore, keep in mind that you can forgive, even though you may never forget the offense.  Also, your just God remembers as well.
  2. The fear that I’m not worthy.  Resolve to learn from your mistakes.  As a different person and child of God, He helps you grow day by day.
  3. The fear of abandonment.  People who truly love you accept you with your flaws.  Furthermore, God’s presence brings healing.
  4. The fear of becoming well.  With great intention, embrace Jesus’ invitation to heal and grow.
  5. The fear that my memory of a loved one will fade.  Creating a space in your heart for this grief allows you to still live your life.  In addition, the authors advise, create rituals to remember the on you love and continue to move forward.

Today’s question: What outdated beliefs do your protectors still cling to?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “A newly liberated exile shakes off passive rescue wishes”

About the author

Dave Henning


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