Every single one of us – a masterpiece

By Dave Henning / October 3, 2018

“Every single one of us is a masterpiece.  And at the same time, you might say we all have parts in process.  So we can expect difficulties to arise in even the healthiest of relationships.”- Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller

As Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller continue Chapter 14 of Boundaries for Your Soul, they discuss the second and third ways to set healthy boundaries.

2.  Resolving conflict: the power of curiosity and compassion.  In difficult situations, Alison and Kim maintain, sustaining intimacy involves getting curious (a) about your onw vulnerabilities and (b) the ways you seek to protect yourself.  Furthermore, your parts detective must become adept at discerning the vulnerabilities of your loved ones.  In the process, you learn to view them with compassion.

Therefore, the authors encourage you to seek God’s help.  You need creative courage to stand up for this part of yourself.  Even if standing up means you decide to love and pray for the other person at a distance comfortable for you.

In addition, Alison and Kim advise one useful habit to develop with a close friend or spouse.  Agree that when one of you feels any challenging emotion, to take a moment for a You-Turn.  Thus, when you engage in the process of reflection, you speak more clearly and lovingly.

3.  Loving others in process.  The key here involves assessing the creativity and patience of your Spirit-led self.  This task often begins when your parts detective alerts you to a loved one’s annoying habit or hurtful behavior.  You learn to develop awareness that this behavior is the action of a well-meaning part.  As a result, you engage with this part of the other person in more effective ways.

However, first consider your own expectations.  Where do you place yourself on the spectrum between demanding (deserve perfection) and diminished (deserve nothing)?

Finally, as Brene Brown writes in The Gift of Imperfection, “When we are kind to ourselves, we create a reservoir of compassion that we can extend to others.”

Today’s question: How would you describe yourself as a masterpiece with parts in process?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Knowing right from wrong – or knowing God”

About the author

Dave Henning

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