“Unaddressed, pride will destroy many of the things you care about or know you should care about. It will leave a trail of destruction strewn with things you used to value or that a better version of you would treasure . . . and make you think all of this is natural.”- Carey Nieuwhof
As Carey Nieuwhof continues Chapter 9 of Didn’t See It Coming, he reveals five signs that help you recognize your insecurity is driving an unhealthy focus on yourself. Thus, Carey covers the first three today.
1. You compare yourself with others. Yes, we all have a lot to learn from other people. However, insecure people are driven more by a desire to know whether they’re better or worse than others than by a desire to learn. While learning shows fundamentally healthy behavior, comparison is destructive. In fact, Pastor Nieuwhof observes, his counselor coined a great term for arrogance born of comparison: comparrogance.
2. Your self-worth is determined by your latest performance. For people driven by results, this presents a challenge. Hence, you know you’re insecure when your opinion of yourself rises and falls with (a) how you perform or (b) what others say about you. As a result, Timothy Keller describes how to know when you tether your identity to performance:
“When work is your identity, success goes to your head, and failure goes to your heart.”
3. You can’t celebrate someone else’s success. Insecure people find it difficult to celebrate:
- their own progress – they’re sure they haven’t done well enough
- the accomplishments of somebody else – feel threatened
Therefore, you can’t feel good about others because you feel bad about yourself. Consequently, insecurity leads you to focus on yourself. In the process, you exclude others.
Today’s question: Has pride left a trail of destruction in your life? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Pride inoculates you from others’ counsel”