” . . . none of us reach adulthood without a few dings to the heart. Our response to those dings determines the condition of our hearts. We cannot control how people treat us. We cannot stop their hurtful words. But we can monitor their effects on our hearts. And perhaps, as we’ll se, we can reverse the damage . . .”- Andy Stanley
Andy Stanley concludes Chapter 4 of Enemies of the Heart as he states that others aren’t always to blame for our problems. In fact, he adds, sometimes we’re our own worst enemies.
For example, personal secrets cause us to build walls in our relationships. And often, our personal secrets cause us to be unjustifiably suspicious of those closest to us. Because we usually suspect in others the very guilt we find in ourselves. Also, shame produces a similar dynamic.
As a result, heart issues always take their toll on relationships. In particular, heart issues often affect one’s ability to initiate, but also maintain, intimacy. Pastor Stanley explains:
“Heart issues make intimacy difficult to maintain because intimacy revolves around knowing and being known. People with shrapnel lodged in their hearts from something in their past don’t really want to be known. Being known is tantamount to being ‘found’ or ‘discovered.’ That’s a terrifying notion to somebody with secrets. So they build walls. They respond defensively. . . . And if you push too hard . . . out of their mouth pours the junk that always pours out of a mouth connected to a wounded heart. And they’ll insist you are the problem.”
Furthermore, people with heart issues find it difficult to look in the mirror. For when they do, they dislike what they see. So the old adage, Andy notes rings true: Hurt people hurt people. However, if you’re willing to take that painful look in the mirror, perhaps you’ll find the motivation to change. When you ask for help, Andy stresses, your heavenly Father eagerly responds and brings you back to life.
Today’s question: How do you respond to the dings to your heart? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Four life-blocking agents lodged in the heart”
