“If you’re anything like me [hitting the wall] on the airplane, you might not want to become an object lesson anyway. I’m certainly not in the mood to learn a great moral of the story. I just want the pain and sadness to be shaken up and disappear to the bottom. I want to cling to my rage. . . . It’s my little pet. In fact, I want other people to be afraid of my rage and, because of it, give me special permission to smuggle snow globes across the country.”- Aubrey Sampson
As Aubrey Sampson continues Chapter 5 of The Louder Song, she talks about her first instinct in writing this book. She honestly states she thought about leaning into the supposed tos. Hence, she admits, she came up with a whole list of lies that sounded really good. For example, that pain is teaching me:
- how to be present
- to craft (Aubrey made exactly one wreath during this phase, which she quips will hang in her bathroom forever)
Next, Aubrey discusses the living nightmare experienced by Jeremiah and the Israelites. Beyond the nightmare, an overarching question of Israel’s identity as God’s chosen people loomed. For example, how could God allow His chosen people to endure such horror if they were God’s beloved to begin with? Was God truly loving and compassionate? Yet, this situation came about as a result of their disobedience and idolatry.
However, these questions get much harder when we find no explanation for suffering. But, in the midst of crisis, God remains faithful to His covenant love. Consequently, He never truly abandons us. Aubrey explains:
“In the midst of all the overpowering and conflicting emotions you might be feeling — including the desire to give up and walk away — you can cling to one thing: God’s response does not depend on you. God’s response to your suffering depends on God, and God hasn’t changed in the midst of your pain.”
Today’s question: How do you feel about serving as an object lesson after hitting the wall? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Surface for air – God waits until I’m able”