“Honestly, I don’t know of any other pain in life that’s worse than being betrayed by someone close to you. It changes everything. After such an experience, the world is simply a different place — one far darker and crueler than you ever thought possible before.”- Phil Waldrep
“It is easier to forgive an enemy than a friend.”- William Blake
In his Introduction to Beyond Betrayal: Overcome Past Hurts + Begin to Trust Again, author Phil Waldrep asserts that betrayal always seems to come out of nowhere. Like the strike of a bolt of lightning, someone close to you turns your world upside down. As a result, you discover that everything you thought, believed, and assumed about your betrayer was wrong. In fact — false.
Certainly, if possible, you never want to see or speak to that person again. Above all, you yearn to hear three words from your betrayer: I am sorry. But, even if your betrayer mouths those words, you know they don’t mean it. Furthermore, Mr. Waldrep notes, everywhere you look carries a reminder of two things: (1) someone betrayed you and (2) you were betrayable. Hence, you feel like such a fool!
Consequently, like most people experiencing betrayal, you instinctively build four walls around your heart. Thus, no one gets inside and you avoid putting yourself in a vulnerable position. In addition, you demand an ironclad, lifetime guarantee against that level of pain and hurt.
However, Mr. Waldrep counsels, though betrayal often feels like the end — and it signals the end of some things — it need not:
- mean the end of you
- color every relationship you have for the rest of your life
- signify that God’s turned His back on you or punishing you for something you’ve done (or didn’t do)
Finally, Mr. Waldrep lets his readers know about his personal trial of walking through betrayal and emerged on the other side of pain. However, he cautions, it’s hard to climb out of that pit alone.
Today’s question: When betrayed by someone close to you, what helps you emerge on the other side of pain? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “The shock of betrayal – processing your feelings”