The shock of betrayal – processing your feelings

By Dave Henning / June 5, 2020

“Being betrayed is often a shock.  The emotions we feel associated with it can be overwhelming.  In processing your feelings to work towards healing, it’s good to have an outlet for those feelings.  You must find a way to look at things more objectively.”- Phil Waldrep

“Even my close friend in whom I trust, who ate my bread, has lifted his heal against me.”- Psalm 41:9 (ESV)

In Chapter 1 (“Betrayal”) of Beyond Betrayal, Phil Waldrep describes his personal betrayal in great detail.  Briefly, Phil’s betrayer worked for Phil’s Christian conference ministry.  Originally the two met when Phil spoke at churches in the early years of his ministry.

Eventually, Phil discovered morally questionable behavior on the part of his friend and colleague.  When confronted, his friend admitted everything – and more.  However, he soon started skipping the agreed upon counseling sessions and resumed his sinful behavior.  As a result, Phil typed a resignation letter for the employee to sign, which he did.

Consequently, the now ex-employee violated the trust Phil placed in him.  Therefore, in the seconds after thinking the resignation put everything behind him, the author came up with another thought.  Like The Who once sang back in the 70s, “We won’t get fooled again!”

Furthermore, this decision represented the first nail hammered in his self-constructed coffin.  Phil fought for years to get out of it, as he explains:

“Betrayal is one thing.  The decisions we make in its wake are quite another.  When you give someone your love and trust, you also give them the ability to wound and hurt you like no one else can.  Once you’ve felt the pain of being betrayed, it changes you forever.”

Finally, Mr. Waldrep offers this message of hope.  Certainly, there’s a way to process the pain of betrayal.  However, first you must understand what you’re feeling – and why.  Once that happens, then your healing can begin.

Today’s question: What most helped you in processing your feelings after the shock of betrayal?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Betrayal = selfishness of the betrayer”

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Dave Henning

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