Unexpressed and unprocessed anger

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By Dave Henning / June 26, 2020

“Unexpressed and unprocessed anger and emotions have a way of coming out in all the wrong ways and masking what we should really be addressing.  It has a way of compounding our hurt into a number of other areas.”- Phil Waldrep

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”- Romans 12:21 (NIV)

As Phil Waldrep continues Chapter 7 of Beyond Betrayal, he stresses the importance of how we react to anger.  When we react, it’s crucial that we leave a space to consider what’s going on.  We must think about the emotion we feel and the reaction that feeling inspires.  Because when we fail to leave that space open, we get into trouble.  And then anger jumps to danger.

Consequently, Phil encourages, give yourself permission to be angry.  As a result, that allows you the opportunity to deal with other emotions you experience related to your betrayal.  For when you stuff the powerful emotion of anger, you also stuff the emotions beneath it.

Hence, you project the betrayal of one person onto an untold number of other people.  Certainly, that’s unfair to them.  In addition, it eats away at your soul and hinders the effectiveness of your work or ministry.  Also, when someone’s wronged you, that feeds a constant need to justify your position.  That you’re in the right.  Therefore, letting go of that frees you from the burden of controlling everything and everyone around you to avoid future pain.

However, denying the hurt just stuffs more emotions and feeds the vicious cycle that’s sucking the joy from your life.  Above all, the author exhorts, begin to see that the responsibility for the betrayal isn’t yours to own.  Thus, your betrayer’s bad actions don’t reflect your value as a person.

Finally, Phil describes the way to make it through any human betrayal:

“I came to realize that if my relationship with my heavenly Father was healthy and maturing, then I could handle all the unhealthy relationships that come my way.  When we accept that He loves us and we are ‘accepted in the Beloved’ (Ephesians 1:6 NKJV), then we can be spiritually, emotionally, and physically able to make it through any human betrayal.”

Today’s question: What Scriptures help you deal with unexpressed and unprocessed anger?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Obligated to discuss betrayal details?”

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Dave Henning

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