The fuel you need to start setting boundaries

By Dave Henning / July 23, 2020

“Connecting with your blue flame will give you the fuel you need to start setting some much-needed boundaries, because it carries with it that great sense of mission. . . .  Your blue flame . . . will illuminate the path you need to be on so that you can make empowered decisions about what commitments will keep you moving in the right direction.”- Jennifer Fulwiler

In Chapter 17 (“You Can Say No”) of Your Blue Flame, Jennifer Fulwiler recalls the old game show Press Your Luck.  As contestant pressed a button to stop their spin, they repeatedly chanted, ‘No whammies!’  Because if their spin stopped on a whammy, that wiped out the funds acquired to that point.

Yet, Jennifer comments, not the passive nature of this situation.  A computer behind the scenes controlled where each contestant’s spin landed.  So, no amount of prayer, hope, or wishing affected the outcome.  And the same holds true for our calendars, Jennifer contends.  Except here other people’s opinions control the action.

Warren Buffett once commented on the difference between successful people and very successful people.  He asserted that very successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.  Therefore, Jennifer asks, how do we wind up with schedules that fail to reflect out real priorities?  Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism, once explained this in an interview with NPR:

“This is about social pressure.  You know, we talk about the problem of informational overload.  But for at least the last ten years, it’s not been information overload that’s the problem – it’s opinion overload.”

However, Jennifer notes, sometimes it’s surprisingly difficult to break free from the tyranny of other people’s opinions about how we schedule our time.  Especially for those who possess people-pleasing tendencies.  But when you have an innate sense of purpose, you assess each potential demand on your time.  If it’s in line with your mission, accept it.  Otherwise, reject it.

Today’s question: When you connect with your blue flame, how does that provide the fuel to set needed boundaries?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Carve out space for your blue flame”

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Dave Henning

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