The stories we weave create templates

By Dave Henning / November 12, 2020

“The stories we weave and the meaning we make from them create templates for how we understand God, life, others, and ourselves.  Regardless of the frameworks we carry, choosing to care for and nurture the whole history of who we are is connected to the way we were made to thrive.”- Aundi Kolber

“You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle.  Are they not in your book?”- Psalm 56:8 (ESV)

Today Aundi Kolber concludes Chapter 1 of Try Softer.  She notes what it looks like if we disconnect from our stories.  Typically, we disconnect because we consider some parts disturbing or at least uncomfortable.  However, we must acknowledge the validity of our experience in order to do something with that discomfort.

Therefore, Aundi stresses, when we deny the reality of our experiences, we become less, not more, of who God designed us to be.  Aundi explains:

“There’s no way to have cohesive stories unless we truly embrace all of it: the good . . . hard . . . bittersweet . . . sad . . . joyful  . . . lonely, and the painful.  Learning how to be ‘with’ our stories — in our bodies, without becoming overwhelmed by or numbing our past experiences — is the way we will learn how to actually handle and move through the grief and anxiety that comes up.  It’s also the way we will learn to write new endings that are true to ourselves.”

Finally, Aundi cautions, it’s impossible to rush a flower to bloom.  In a similar manner, we must move at a pace that’s doable to us.  Also, the way we do something matters as much as what we do.  Thus, the process of blooming and the flower that results possess equal value.

Above all, avoid white-knuckling through the pain.  Aundi states that white-knuckling occurs when we consciously or unconsciously ignore internal waring signs from our minds and bodies to cope with situations that are overwhelming or disturbing.  Pain indicates a good time to pause or slow your pace in that part of your story.

Today’s question: What Scriptures support the stories we weave?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Lovingly turn toward our pain”

About the author

Dave Henning

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