“Paradoxically, when we choose surrender for the right reasons, it empowers us. A curious mystery come from honoring the truth that surrender with gentleness can be its own form of strength. Our ability to hold our lives with a flexible, open posture allows God’s power to manifest in us.”- Aundi Kolber
In Chapter 10 (“Try Softer with Resilience”) of Try Softer, Aundi Kolber begins with the topic of surrender. In Aundi’s view, surrender:
- allows us to feel safe enough to release our grip
- can lead us to treat ourselves and others more gently
- sometimes enables us to ride through the waves of pain life inevitably brings
Furthermore, when we surrender voluntarily, rather than through coercion, that helps us see that trying to control everything most often wears us out. Rather than lifting us up.
However, our desire to try softer simply means we try differently. Life doesn’t automatically get easier. Because trying softer serves as a way to journey through life, not as a destination. In addition, it’s through trying and moving forward that we develop resilience.
As a result, Aundi explains what happens when we embrace a challenging time:
” . . . internalizing the elements of trying softer often happens not when I’m in the midst of easy day, but in those times when I feel as if I’ve been pressed down and shaken. And that is why resilience is so critical. Our capacity to be alive grows as we learn to process and move through hard things. . . . More significantly, the hard things that cracked us open have the potential to create space for deeper joy and resilience.”
Finally, Aundi cites a famous poem Mary Oliver titled ‘When Death Comes.’ In the poem Oliver voices her desire to live fully present to each person’s beauty and each moment of life. She doesn’t see herself as simply visiting the world. Just as we yearn for the abundant life of which Jesus spoke – not just survive. Resilience allows us to return to the essentials of life.
Today’s question: What most helps you surrender for the right reasons? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Stones of help – your Ebenezers”