Coregulation soothes agitation

By Dave Henning / July 15, 2022

“Emotions are meant to move us toward each other and God, move us to be responsive to each other, move us to vulnerably share.  Coregulation soothes agitation.  Sharing the weight of your feelings with another soul regulates your feelings, bringing balance to your soul.”- Ann Voskamp

“To forsake God and to exist in oneself — that is, to be pleased with oneself — is not immediately to lose all being; but it is to come close to nothingness.”- Augustine, City of God

Ann Voskamp concludes Chapter 12 of WayMaker as she counsels that the moment you want to push away might signal your need to find a way to draw closer.  Because when you throw up shields to protect your heart you end up in solitary confinement.

And all this begins quite inconspicuously.  For example, if a pilot taking off from Los Angeles adjusts the heading just 3.5 degrees, the plane lands in Washington DC.  Instead of New York City.  Yet, such a change looks small on take-off.  Thus, Ann explains:

” . . . if you lose your rule of life, your way of life, you lose your way.  Life is about direction.  To be human is to be relational and directional.  All of life turns on the turn.  Life isn’t about how far you’ve come . . . or the overwhelm that has you between a rock and a hard place.  Life is about distance, in relation to God, and living constantly in the direction of God.  No measurement in the world matters but the distance between us and God.”

In conclusion, Ann notes, name what your curve to as a measure of comfort, your ache, and you name your Egypt that looks like ease.  Then, you face two choices.  Bondage to your earthly comforts or bonding to God.  But when you bend to yourself, you delight mostly in yourself — an egotheist.  And that egotheism makes our souls small.

Today’s question: When do you find that coregulation soothes agitation?  Please share.

Coming Monday: the July Short Meditation, “”My guiding light every step I take”

Tomorrow’s blog: “Utilize the strength of stillness”

About the author

Dave Henning

Leave a comment:

Call Now Button