“While checking ourselves is healthy, questioning our identity is not. Checking ourselves means looking at a current attitude or behavior to see if it is in line with God’s instructions and wisdom. Questioning our identity is doubting who we are because we have given too much power to other people by letting their opinions define us.”- Lysa TerKeurst
“But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.”- Hebrews 5:14 (NIV)
Lysa TerKeurst concludes Chapter 7 of Good Boundaries and Goodbyes as she observes that somewhere in all our looking around for validation from others, we stop looking up. Looking at God. Therefore, there’s one thing we must remember if we’re living honest lives that honor God. Justs because people dislike our boundary doesn’t mean we aren’t right before God.
Consequently, Lysa underscores, state your boundaries and end the sentence with a period. Instead of a question mark. Because posing your boundary as a question opens you up for the offender to question, debate, and show disrespect. Thus, Lysa states, when you present a boundary with doubt, you won’t effectively carry it out.
So, Lysa counsels, it’s your responsibility not to let the actions and expectations of another person wear you down to the worst version of yourself. Rather, in a biblical sense, it’s not allowing that other person to force you to betray who you are in Christ.
Most significantly, Lysa asks, who are you? For there’s so much more to you than the sum total of what’s happened to you. When you’re closest to who God created you to be, you’re closest to who you really are.
In conclusion, Lysa exhorts:
“When we know who we are, we are whole and available to love, serve, and give to others from that fullness. If we don’t know who we are, then we will love, serve, and give, hoping people will fill our empty places and make us feel whole. . . .
God’s love isn’t based on me. It’s simply placed on me. And it’s the place from which I should live . . . loved.”
Today’s question: Do you see checking ourselves as healthy? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Bring relief to the grief”