“We’ve survived what we’ve feared. But can we survive the remembering? Memories are both our greatest treasures and our greatest sorrows. . . . Most of the time, when a goodbye has been spoken, memories become an impossible tangle of both grief and greatness, sorrow and celebration.”- Lysa TerKeurst
In Chapter 10 (“Can a Goodbye Ever Really Be Good?”) of Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, Lysa TerKeurst proclaims that she’s stared her greatest fear in the face. However, she cautions, it’s not exactly true that fearing it is worse than facing it. Because, Lysa adds, that’s like bracing for an impact before the crash is worse than the actual impact.
That’s what complicates a goodbye. And why, Lysa asks, the term goodbye? What’s good about a goodbye that:
- takes pieces of your heart you don’t want to see taken?
- makes you wonder if you’ll survive the remembering?
- is impossibly permanent, that you didn’t want or ever anticipate happening?
Yet, the author stresses, the more she studies the Bible, she’s starting to gain a different perspective. Perhaps the way we say goodbye helps us survive the memories. That we can be honest about what didn’t work and still accept the good memories. Goodbyes where good existed at one time. Walking away while still holding on to your integrity, not hating the other person.
In the late 1500s, the original phrase was ‘God Be with Ye.’ The contraction of that phrase, ‘Godbwye.’ eventually became goodbye.
Finally, Lysa wonders, how did Jesus say goodbye. The author shares her thoughts:
“I think Jesus said goodbye the same way He lived all the days before the hurt, betrayal, rejection, and abandonment. While the relationships changed, He didn’t let the goodbye change Him. He let people walk away without letting go of who He was. Even when people turned on Jesus, He didn’t let a goodbye turn Him into someone He was never meant to be.”
Today’s question: How do you see memories as your greatest treasures and greatest sorrows? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: ” A primary sign of toxicity”