Internalized safety – integrate

By Dave Henning / June 15, 2023

“The idea of internalized safety is an important step in our strong-like-water work because it’s often an indication that we are beginning to operate out of transitional strength. . . .  One of the most salient channels I know [to integrate internalized safety] is through resourcing, or compassionately connecting to internal or external forms of support to meet whatever challenges we face.”- Aundi Kolber

“For some of us, warrior mode is easy.  Tenderness is hard.  Healing shifts the heart.”- Dr. Thelma Bryant

In Chapter 5 (“Strength with Inner Trust”) of Strong Like Water, Aundi Kolber describes embodied, internalized safety as a soft landing place.  A place to find a new inner trust, which leads to a new inner strength.

Furthermore, we come to view resources as our lifelines.  Important moments we come back to, relational connections, or skills we pick up along our journey.  Things we lean on when life begins to seem like too much.  Most significantly, it’s important that you take note of how your body experiences each resource.

Because when you fail to acknowledge and engage your inner landscape, you find yourself woefully ill-equipped to ask for what you need.  Let alone take action on it.  Therefore, choosing a resource serves as a pivotal point. For you need to (a) honor where you were and (b) find strength to move through it.

In conclusion, Aundi lists signs that you might be experiencing transitional strength.  These signs got my attention:

  • growing sense of internalized safety – an internal soft landing place.
  • acceptance of more nuance: Hello gray area!
  • a sense of common humanity: “You are not the only one who feels like the only one.”
  • greater awareness of your own limits: Yeah, that’s not going to work for me.
  • increasing ability to self-soothe: It’s okay to take care of myself when I’m in pain.

Thus, Aundi exhorts, learn to experience, steward, and ultimately leverage the safety you experience as you connect with God, self, and others.  Because those things truly birth the mystery and goodness of strong like water!

Today’s question: What most helps you integrate internalized safety?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “Reparenting – a great resource”

About the author

Dave Henning

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