“Every human being carries hurts or scars or wounds. Our tendency since the Fall is to hide as if our life depended on it. This is exactly wrong. Our life depends on getting found. There is no healing in hiding.”- John Ortberg
“No longer do I call your servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called your friends, for all things that I heard from my Father I have made known to you.”- John 15:15 (NKJV)
John Ortberg concludes Chapter 4 of Everybody’s Normal . . . with the third stage of openness or disclosure.
3. Deep Disclosure with a Few Trusted Friends. This deepest level of disclosure involves telling another human being about those vulnerable aspects of our life. However, John cautions, we must not enter into this type of disclosure lightly. Above all, Aelred of Rievaulx, a twelfth-century English abbot, wrote that we owe love to all people. But we only entrust ‘matters of the heart’ to a proven friend.
Most significantly, coming out of hiding provides more that needed benefits for our bodies. It’s also need for our souls. Hence, John underscores, God still patiently asks the question He asked Adam in the Garden of Eden so long ago. God asked, Adam, where are you? Will you:
- trust me?
- stop hiding?
- come back into community?
Therefore, Pastor Ortberg asserts, we always find the practice of confession at the heart of great renewal movements in the church. Because , in confession, we enter back into community. John explains:
“Confession . . . involves the naming of specific sins as part of the process of repentance and reconciliation. It is a reminder that we don’t just need empathy and healing — we also need to be cleansed and forgiven. I believe that confessing our sins to another human being is crucial . . . because there is tremendous power in being fully known and in hearing another voice remind us that God has forgiven us. . . .
When people begin to open up at this deep level, then true community — the kind God intended for us — begins to become possible.”
Today’s question: Do you agree with John that there’s no healing in hiding? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “The person I love the least”