“To accept our weaknesses and those of others is the very opposite of sloppy complacency. It is not fatalistic and hopeless acceptance. It is essentially a concern for the truth.”- Jean Vanier, Community and Growth
“A sense of duty is useful in work, but offensive in personal relationships. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation.”- Bertrand Russell
John Ortberg concludes Chapter 5 of Everybody’s Normal . . . as he observes a clear difference between acceptance and tolerance. For example, people may put up with your existence and even your faults. But you won’t find healing there. Because, Pastor Ortberg stresses, people need much more than tolerance.
However, Pastor Ortberg defines acceptance as an act of the heart. Hence, you affirm your belief that it’s a very good thing that the other person is alive. Above all, the most powerful way to communicate this centers on listening with patience and compassion. Listening as people reveal their dark secrets.
Yet, John underscores, failure to confront, to speak the truth in love, poses as much danger to community as a judgmental spirit. In addition, a world of difference exists between making judgments and being judgmental.
In John 8 Jesus accepted the woman caught in adultery. And He forgave her sin. Because it’s never possible to offer acceptance yet at the same time withhold forgiveness. Above all, Jesus’ action came at a tremendous personal cost. For in defending the woman, Jesus made powerful enemies. As Kenneth Bailey points out, Jesus’ enemies will be back with a bigger stick.
Finally, Pastor Ortberg talks about the implications of Jesus’ statements for the woman:
” ‘Go and sin no more.’ Jesus’ acceptance is free, undeserved, unmerited — but it is also demanding. For the woman to fully examine his acceptance will require entering a new way of life. The same grace that liberates her from her past sin calls her to walk free of them in the future. Amazingly enough, radical acceptance does what condemnation and judgmentalism and self-superiority cannot do: produce a changed life.”
Today’s question: Do you agree that accepting the weakness of others is the opposite of sloppy complacency? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “We wear our souls ‘on our sleeves’ “