The tendencies and feelings that run our life, whether we are aware of it or not, reside in fairly specific parts of our body, and they reveal themselves to others through our body language — how we carry our bodily parts. . . . We wear our souls ‘on our sleeves’, even when we are oblivious to them, and that governs the quality of our relations to others.”- Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart
“You say you know the inwardness of men, / As well as a hundred other things. / Dare to speak out and tell me about myself.”- Robert Frost
In Chapter 6 (“The Art of Reading People: Empathy”) of Everybody’s Normal . . ., John Ortberg suggests that one book — apart from the Bible — may be the most widely read book in American society. Even though the book is not well-written and not one quotable line exists. The book in question: Rules of the Road.
Certainly, to incorporate the rules of the road includes the ability to read and respond to road signs appropriately. However, sometimes road signs offer little help. For example, John notes, an overachieving state of Colorado employee placed the sign ‘Hill” at the summit of Trail Ridge Road. Elevation 12,183 feet.
Similarly, because God created us in His image, He wants us to know one another. To pay attention to what’s going on under the surface. To read the signs that reflect what’s going on in someone’s heart. But, John counsels, people rarely put their hearts (feelings) into words. Instead, they express their feelings in subtle ways. Through body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, and gestures.
In conclusion, Pastor Ortberg stresses the importance of relational intelligence. He writes:
“The good news is that relational intelligence can be learned. Develop this skill, get it right, and you will have opportunities to influence, comfort, challenge, and love people on a regular basis. You will have friendships characterized by a deep sense of openness and intimacy.”
Today’s question: How do we wear our souls ‘on our sleeves’? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Conversational intersection”