“Every relationship you have even been or ever will be a part of comes with this phrase on the outside of the box: Some assembly required. We would all like for relationships to simply flourish on their own without any attention from us, but they don’t. Every relationship is a construction zone.”- John Ortberg
“Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator; but among those whom I love I can: all of them make me laugh.”- W. H. Auden
John Ortberg continues Chapter 6 of Everybody’s Normal . . . with the second and third relational rules of the road.
2. Sobriety Checkpoint Ahead. Certainly, sobriety is a necessity on the road. But in life, John contends, it’s lethal to adopt a joyless, glum, somber, self-preoccupied attitude. So, the author suggests, this road sign might simply read, “Lighten up.”
Because, more often that we can believe, when people feel stressed, worried, lonely, or afraid, they carry this one sign just beneath the surface. The sign reads: “Joy needed — please lighten up.”
Therefore, people who refuse to take themselves seriously give a great gift to those around them. However, to insist on the need to be right exerts a heavy burden. But when you lighten up, even your mistakes turn into bridges.
3. Warning: Construction Zone. When it comes to relationships, John notes, low maintenance pretty much means no maintenance. Because without proper attention, relationships tend to drift, and conflicts go unresolved.
However, as part of an ’emotional economy’ every interaction you have with another person involves more than a simple exchange of information or performing a task. It also influences each person’s moods and attitudes.
In conclusion, John explains:
“Every time two people make contact, they come away feeling either better and more energized or worse and more depleted. It is as if we carry our own little emotional ATMs around with us all the time, and at each encounter we are either making deposits or withdrawals on the vitality of those around us.”
Today’s question: What helps you take a some assembly required approach to relationships? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “A finely tuned machine?”