“Dealing with conflict always involves a series of choices. With each choice, our natural inclination is to handle the conflict in a destructive manner. So if we want to live in the Fellowship of the Trinity, we will have to be guided by Jesus into a better way.”- John Ortberg
“If your brother or sister sins against you, go and show them their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”- Matthew 18:15 (NIVUK)
As John Ortberg moves on in Chapter 7 of Everybody’s Normal . . ., he notes his desire to structure the rest of the chapter around a single statement of Jesus. As recorded in Matthew 18:15, In the text, Jesus laid down a clear set of instructions about how to handle a case of relational breakdown.
Most significantly, John summarizes Jesus’ wisdom in this single phrase: Go and tell. In other words, go to the other person and discuss the problem. Yet, this is the odd thing — we fail to do it. Why? Because at each point in Jesus’ teaching, we face:
- a crossroads.
- powerful reasons to ignore His instructions.
- being tempted to go the other way.
Hence, Pastor Ortberg walks us through what Jesus said one small step at a time. John covers the first step today.
1. Acknowledge Conflict. To be alive means to be in conflict. Thus, its’ a matter of when, not if. Certainly, Pastor Ortberg observes, some people prefer to pretend that conflict doesn’t exist. In addition, sometimes people equate a lack of conflict with spiritual maturity. However, that’s not necessarily the case.
Above all, John stresses, the place to start honestly admitting there’s unresolved conflict is in your own life. That a breakdown has occurred. Therefore, Pastor Ortberg exhorts:
“Truth about conflict is often complex and hard to resolve even with goodwill. But let us begin in the deep commitment to face relational breakdown squarely in the eye. If we are going to enter life in little communities, unaddressed and unresolved breakdowns are unacceptable.”
Today’s question: What is your natural inclination in regard to conflict? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “A smoke detector for anger”