“This is a foundational paradox about the porcupines in our world: We want to know the truth about ourselves, and we want very much not to know the truth about ourselves. We both seek and resist awareness about the reality of who we really are.”- John Ortberg
In Chapter 9 (“The Gift Nobody Wants: Confrontation”) of Everybody’s Normal . . ., John Ortberg describes scales and mirrors as tools of accountability. Because they inform us about our reality. Certainly, if we want to, we can attempt to outsmart the mirror and scale. But they ultimately reveal the truth — if we allow them to.
Above all, John notes, community provides the place to get on the scale. And each one of us needs some good friends to tell us the truth about our hearts and souls. Hence, when our hearts grow hard and vision grows dim, we need someone to perform spiritual surgery on us.
As Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote in Life Together, all of us need a few Truth-Tellers. Bonhoeffer underscored:
“Nothing can be more cruel than the leniency which abandons others to their sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe reprimand which calls another Christian in one’s community back from the path of sin.”
Furthermore, Pastor Ortberg counsels, we need Truth-Tellers because we possess an astounding capacity to live in denial. Neil Plantinga stresses that we deny, suppress, or minimize the truth about ourselves. As a result, we assert, adorn, and elevate what we know to be clearly false.
In conclusion, John relates that social psychology bases a whole field of study on our nearly endless ability to justify what we do or say. And we do so in a way consistent with our self-concept. The field: cognitive dissonance.
Most significantly, Pastor Ortberg asserts, many of us never opt to invite someone else to function as a Truth-Teller in our lives. We use the same reasoning when we avoid getting on a scale. Because we fear what we may find out.
Today’s question: How does the foundational paradox about the porcupines play out in your life? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Speak the truth in humility”