“Let us consider the cost of truth-telling and why it happens so rarely in our world. If truth-telling is so important, if we all agree we need it to grow, if it is an act of love — why does so little of it go on? The answer, simply, is fear. It takes enormous courage to be a Truth-Teller. If we speak painful truth to someone, things get messy. . . . We usually tell the truth until it’s costly, and then we trade the truth for peace.”- John Ortberg
John Ortberg concludes Chapter 9 of Everybody’s Normal . . . as he contrasts authentic community with pseudocommunity. First in authentic community, each person carries the responsibility for one’s own life. Above all, even if we wanted to, we cannot abdicate responsibility. In addition. we give to one another the tool and gift of accountability. Because that enables us to try to realize the growth we could never know all by ourselves.
However, John points out, it’s easy for us to react like King David did to Nathan’s story. Consequently, we find ourselves all fired up about someone else’s guilt yet forget about our own. Thus, we possess the ability to experience guilt and righteous indignation at the same time.
But, as Scott Peck asserts, most of the time we live in what he refers to as pseudocommunity. Therefore, in this type of community we:
- keep things safe.
- speak in generalities.
- say things those around us will agree with.
- keep relationships pleasant and well-oiled, lest anyone take offense.
In other words, in this community people are agreeable, polite, gentle, and stagnant. An ultimately fatal stance.
Finally, Pastor Ortberg underscores:
“People who love authentic community always prefer the pain of temporary chaos to the peace of permanent superficiality. Telling people what they want to hear is not love. When people are engaged in destructive, soul-threatening behavior, they need a mirror. The need someone who will tell them the truth.”
Today’s question: How do you respond to the cost of truth-telling? Please share.
Coming Monday: the Christmas Short Meditation, “Hail redemption’s happy dawn!”
Tomorrow’s blog: “Exclusion or embrace – the choice”