Everybody’s Normal Till . . .John Ortberg wrote Everybody’s Normal Till You Get to Know Them in 2003. The author previously served as senior pastor of Menlo Park Presbyterian Church in Menlo Park, CA. First, Pastor Ortberg stresses, the writers of Scripture insist that no one is normal. At least not as God defines normal. However, in response, we engage in depravity management. We pretend to be kinder and healthier than we really are. Yet, we share the porcupine’s dilemma — getting close without getting hurt. Hence, in this book, John explains how imperfect people can pursue community with other imperfect people. Thus, God asks us to create little islands of shalom in a sea of isolation. Because community serves as a place of resurrection, not just a group of people who live together and love each other.
Most significantly, the doctrine of the Trinity tells us that God Himself experienced community throughout eternity. So, all day we either draw closer to God or a little farther away. Therefore, we need to invest chunks of unhurried time in order to absorb the true intimacy of community. Because everybody’s normal till you get to know them, each of us comes with a mat. And we must make it a priority to sacrifice time to carry others’ mats. For our mats form the connecting points for deeper relationships. In addition, there’s tremendous power in being fully known through confessing our sins to another person. It’s really possible to do life without hiding. Above all, radical acceptance achieves what condemnation, judgmentalism, and self-superiority cannot ever produce: a changed life.
Furthermore, simply being human brings much greater pleasure than being fully right. All of us need someone who believes in us and reminds us that this could be our finest hour. Certainly, we live with hurt in one of two ways: the way of vengeance or the way of forgiveness. Our inability to forget means that forgiveness is precisely what’s required. As a result, John counsels, don’t ignore the hurts. Instead, see beyond them. Because, as a general rule, where hurt exists you identify as both the victim and an agent of wrongdoing. Nonforgiveness costs your heart. Since we think everybody’s normal, we both seek and resist awareness of who we are.
Consequently, John advises, we need to invite a trusted Christian friend to serve as Truth-Teller for us. Since anytime we try to handle temptation in isolation, we find ourselves quite vulnerable to deception. But when we gift each other with the tool of accountability, we realize the growth we could never know all by ourselves. When we truly begin to follow Jesus, we become Embracers. Those with the greatest capacity to love have come face-to-face with their unbrokenness, undone by great grace.
In conclusion, John states, when we reach heaven:
” . . . the human race will no longer be the ‘as-is’ department of the universe. Then, for the first time since Eden, everyone will be the person God intended them to be. Then we will discover that what we call the end of our lives is not the end after all; it is only the beginning. . . . And we will all be normal at last.”