“I will eventually pay the price for . . . stuffing [my feelings]. . . . Stuffing seems okay until I realize undealt with emotions over time run a high risk of causing more damage than I ever thought. My counselor often reminds me, ‘What we don’t work out, we act out.’ “- Lysa TerKeurst
As Lysa TerKeurst moves on in Chapter 2 of I Want to Trust You, but I Don’t, she looks at four potential responses when we dismiss our feelings. She covers the first two responses today.
1. Numb. When fear and anxiety flood our souls, two choices present themselves. To feel the pain in order to get to the root problem. Or do something to just make the pain go away.
Similar to how doctors numb our bodies to help us avoid physical pain, we sometimes take the route of numbing to deal with emotional pain. As social psychologist Dr. Naomi Eisenberger explained:
“A lack of feeling connected with others causes pain — not only discomfort of loneliness, but symptoms analogous to physical pain. In fact, some of the same brain regions that respond to physical pain also respond to ‘social pain’ — the painful feelings associated with social rejection or loss.”
So, pain drives us to urgently address what we need to address. We want to heed the warning our pain’s trying to send us. To look under the hood to explore what’s going on in our souls.
2. Ignore. According to a Time magazine article, emotions contain an energy that pushes up for expression. As a result, our minds and bodies use creative tactics to tamp them down. Those tactics include constricting our muscles and holding our breath.
Above all, we must not ignore the biological forces of underlying, automatic, hard-wired survival emotions. Therefore, once you realize the power of emotions, it helps greatly to simply acknowledge them. Otherwise, your emotions either (a) cause internal damage or (b) eventually erupt like a beach ball the finally breaks free from being held underwater.
Today’s question: What happens when you pay the price for stuffing? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Repairing trust alone?”