“When trust has been broken in a relationship, trust issued can only be worked on in the context of relationship. . . . We can’t isolate ourselves and work on repairing trust alone. If trust has broken because of a relationship, trust has to be repaired through safe connection inside of a relationship. Trust requires both safety and connection.”- Lysa TerKeurst
Lysa TerKeurst concludes Chapter 2 of I Want to Trust You, but I Don’t with the third and fourth ways we respond when we dismiss our feelings.
3. Override. Certainly, Lysa stresses, it’s good and right to rely on the wisdom and power of the Holy Spirit. Because the Spirit always guides us to God’s truth. However, Lysa counsels, we must not override the message our fears and angst may be trying to tell us.
The Psalms model expressing angst, fear, and turmoil without the pressure to tidy it up or minimize the hurtful realities. Our raw honesty with God fails to disappoint Him. Instead, that’s exactly what He wants from us — a beautiful thing. Also, God guides our feelings through our prayers, lament, and vulnerable processing. He helps us remain aligned with His truth.
4. Shame. First, Lysa underscores the most dangerous part of what shaming does to us. Because we’re embarrassed to be human, we short-circuit our need for healing. Certainly, anxiety and fear naturally emerge when we encounter triggers. But, the author exhorts, let’s acknowledge a reason exists for those triggers to activate and alarm our body. For that allows us to take the time to let those feelings inform us to look into the situation in greater detail.
In conclusion, Lysa cautions, we must not place our sole trust in our feelings — just follow our hearts — without God’s truth. Because we need His truth to:
- guide us.
- challenge us.
- give us the right path forward.
Most significantly, feeling safe comprises a critical part of the process of risk evaluation. For we must possess the knowledge and feeling of safety in order to trust.
Today’s question: What Christian friends keep you from repairing trust alone? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Blind trust to wise trust”