“Each red flag serves a purpose in helping us pick up on characteristics in others (and ourselves) that will bring clarity as to why we may be experiencing trust issues. . . . We want this information to help us discern the level of trust or distrust we have with the other person.”- Lysa TerKeurst
Lysa TerKeurst continues Chapter 3 of I Want to Trust You, but I Don’t with the next four red flags we sense as we experience trust issues.
Red Flag #4: Self-Centeredness. It never occurs to a self-centered person to consider how their words and actions impact other people. But when you address their thoughtless and rude behavior, they deflect your concerns. As a result, they claim that they’re just speaking in an honest manner. Or they accuse you of being too sensitive.
Hence, they never feel put out when they make others wait on them. Because, from their lofty perch, the self-centered person’s time carries greater value than yours.
Red Flag #5: Insecurity. An insecure person places an exhausting burden on you to say enough and assure them enough of their worth. In addition, they need nonstop encouragement, so they feel more stable in their relationships. Also, they excessively worry about your loyalty as well as your commitment to them. And because they believe everything carries a deep, negative meaning toward them, it’s easy to offend them.
Red Flag #6: Immaturity. This childish person fails to think through the consequences of their choices. So, when they get caught, the fault always lies in someone else. Furthermore, they lack self-awareness and appear emotionally tone-deaf.
Red Flag #7: Immorality. No moral compas exists in this person. Consequently, this person disregards the principles of right and wrong. Most significantly, the immoral person appears upstanding in some environment while they actively participate in a secret double life.
Thus, to get ahead in their profess, they easily justify lying and cheating. Necessary behaviors to attain what they need and stay on top.
Today’s question: How do you assess the level of trust or distrust you place in a person? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Red flag concerns – assessing”