“My counselor says, ‘For every rip there needs to be a repair.’ I really like this advice. If we can address the rips as they happen, it will help us better manage our concerns before they turn into full-blown ruptures. Small breaches of trust are small until they’re not.”- Lysa TerKeurst
In Chapter 4 (“Rips and Repairs”) of I Want to Trust You, but I Don’t, Lysa TerKeurst observes that broken trust hurts in a way our hearts weren’t designed to hurt. Rather, God created us to come together with others. But when others tear us apart, broken trust complicates every bit of the comforting parts of love. Yet, Lysa states, one thing is true about life after loss — it goes on.
Furthermore, time also goes on. While some relationships go on with us, others will not. So, Lysa delves into the nature of trust. She talks about invisible emotional threads:
“I think the phrase ‘the ties that bind us’ is an accurate picture of human relationships. Trust is made up of incredibly intricate but invisible emotional threads. Those threads hold them together. . . . Though neither person can see the threads of trust with their eyes, they feel the strength of their connection in their hearts.”
Consequently, repairing trust requires us to first establish what we need from the other person. What we need to deem that person trustworthy. Because choices that slice away at what we needed to protect make the incredibly strong ties that bind turn fragile.
Certainly, Lysa counsels, repairing more significantly broken trust most likely feels quite daunting. Because when approaching this task, it’s hard to:
- figure out where to begin.
- know how to repair what the broken trust cut apart.
- reattach what was never meant to be severed (this is complicated).
In conclusion, Lysa cautions, different levels of severity exist within broken trust. Hence, the spectrum ranges from rips to full-blown ruptures. Only you know the depth of how that broken trust affects you.
Today’s question: How do you handle the small breaches of trust? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “A solid track record”