19

January

I Want to Trust You, but . . .

I Want to Trust You, but . . .

Lysa TerKeurst titles her latest book I Want to Trust You, but I Don’t: Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment (Thomas Nelson, 2024).  Lysa serves as president and chief visionary officer of Proverbs 31 Ministries.  In her Introduction, Lysa notes that thoughts of distrust turn to skepticism and eventually an off-kilter belief system.  Yet, she adds, life kind of requires us to be trusting.   However, while broken trust is life altering, it doesn’t have the power to be life ruining.  But when we quit on hope, we blind ourselves to God’s goodness all around us.  And without hope that things can get better, we just get stuck.

Above all, God created us to hope and rise back up with resilience, fully alive.  Therefore, we need God’s guiding truth when we place our trust in our feelings.  A trust that requires both safety and connection.  Hence, when you tell God I want to trust you, pay attention to red flag issues.  Typically, red flag issues rarely fix themselves.  If ignored, they can turn into breaches of trust.  In addition, Lysa counsels, we need to shift from blind trust to wise trust.  While people sometimes lie with their words, sooner or later the truth comes out in their actions.  Also, you can’t work harder on someone than they’re willing to work on themselves.  Furthermore, Lysa stresses, don’t gloss over deceptions with sloppy grace.

While dealing with broken trust, we must fight the temptation to replace trust with control.  Thus, it’s important that wise friends allow you to walk through the process without applying undue pressure.  Because the rhythm of moving forward feels empowering.  Consequently, our I want to trust You goal centers on living a life of congruity where life aligns with God’s Word.  In contrast, a big part of exhaustion and anxiety around hard times results from our constant efforts to remove faith from our relationship with God.  Most significantly, Lysa describes trusting God as holding loosely those parts of life we want to hold most tightly.  As a result, Lysa exhorts, ask what-if questions that point you to God’s goodness.

In conclusion, Lysa underscores, the absence of justice isn’t evidence of the absence of God.  So, keep fighting to make sure that your first words filled with anguish aren’t the last words filled with bitterness.  Because, even in the silence and the unknown, God continues to work.  And we possess the control to make wise choices right now — with the knowledge that God’s in total control.  Through a beautiful process called surrender, we quiet the angst in our souls.  While betrayals happen to you, trust issues happen in you.  Hence, when dealing with broken trust, focus on what you could gain.  Rather than what you’ve lost.  Make the choice not to plant the seeds of unresolved trust.

Lysa explains:

“The goodness we sow will be a gift to others.  But it’s also a gift to ourselves, because when we lay our head on the pillow each night, despite what others have done that day, we will have the sweet serenity God gives to those with clean hands and a pure heart.”

About the author 

Dave Henning

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