“When someone holds authority — especially spiritual authority — the damage that person can inflict is almost unlimited. The temptation to turn our faith communities and practices into expressions of power rather than Christlikeness is strong and common, and has catastrophic effects. For many of us our primary and longest lasting faith crisis was sparked by the utter failure of the church . . . to be like Christ.”- Catherine McNiel
In Chapter 4 (“When Church Was Harmful”) of Mid-Faith Crisis, Catherine McNiel revisits her forced exile from the small Wisconsin farming community and church that removed her father from his pastorate. Above all, she notes, her memories began in that small town. So, when the church elders opted to erase the family rather than allow them to transition, that action took away her world.
Thus, the small church’s lack of compassion created a major upheaval for the family. For example, everyone felt it best for the family to keep safely out of sight. Until they left for good. As a result, Catherine found herself uninvited from the piano recital she’d worked toward. Also, during her last week in school, she wrote up a ‘will’ and asked her friends what personal items they’d like.
However, in looking back, Catherine realized the poignancy of her game. Because she severed from the people she knew and loved. As well as the tangible components of the only world she ever knew. A figurative death. Yet, one of her teachers saw through her game. Hence, he gently responded, “Catherine, I don’t want anything. You just stay alive.”
Most significantly, his message resonated with Catherine. Because it served as the only message of compassion she received for a long time. That teacher named her suffering, and wanted her to survive.
In conclusion, the authors caution:
“A spiritual community can powerfully name us and call us forth, shaping who we are in every respect — and keep us steadily faithful for a lifetime. But when imperfect crosses the line into toxic, abusive, or manipulative, great harm is done, for that same power can misshape and destroy. . . . Then, too often, those who cry for help are told they are the problem.”
Today’s question: What witness of Christlikeness do you see in your church? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: ” The real gatekeepers? Not!”