“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”- James 1:19-20 (NIV) In the final chapter (13) of Anger, Dr. Gary Chapman cautions against two common approaches used to respond to an angry person. In addition, neither approach involves […]
In today’s blog, Dr. Gary Chapman reminds us that “listening paves the pathway to understanding.” Consequently, he illustrates this by presenting steps four through seven of his seven-step process for responding to angry people. 4. Seek to understand the angry person’s plight. Since you have listened, listened, and listened, now put yourself in the angry person’s […]
Dr. Gary Chapman suggests seven steps for responding to angry people in Chapter 13 (“Confronting an Angry Person”) of Anger. Dr. Chapman discusses the first three steps in today’s blog; 1. Listen. You validate an angry person by listening to his story. Once you’ve heard the story, ask him to repeat it. As a result, […]
“At its root, self-forgiveness is a choice.”- Dr. Gary Chapman Gary Chapman concludes Chapter 12 of Anger with steps four and five of a positive approach to processing anger. 4. Choose to forgive yourself. Dr. Chapman states forgiving yourself has much in common with forgiving someone who has sinned against you. You feel pained at […]
“Be at peace with yourself and then you will be able to bring peace to others.”- Thomas A Kempis In Chapter 12 (“I’m Angry at Myself”) of Anger, Dr. Gary Chapman begins by listing reason you may not be at peace with yourself. When we experience anger at ourselves, it is because we: perceive ourselves […]
“Every person who feels anger toward God will follow the example of Cain or Elijah.”- Dr. Gary Chapman Today Dr. Chapman discusses the second and third steps in responsibly handling anger toward God. STEP TWO: Listen to God’s message. Expressing our honest concerns to God puts us in a position to listen to His “quiet […]
“The problem with our anger toward God is not the anger itself but how we handle the anger.”- Dr. Gary Chapman As Dr. Gary Chapman concludes Chapter 11 of Anger, he analyzes our anger with God as distorted anger. Even though no wrongdoing occurs on God’s part, we still experience real anger. In addition, Gary states, […]
“The call of God is that we trust Him in the darkness as we trusted Him in the light. He has not changed, even though our circumstances have been painfully altered.”- Dr. Gary Chapman Gary Chapman begins Chapter 11 (“When You are Angry with God”) of Anger by observing that “Christians often experience anger toward […]
“Christians with the aid of the Holy Spirit must always stand ready to forgive, willing and desirous of forgiving, extending forgiveness . . .”- Dr. Gary Chapman “He [Christ] did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly.”- […]
Gary Chapman concludes Chapter 6 of Anger by analyzing how implosion destroys. Next, Dr. Chapman delineates how to diffuse anger turned inward. Often internalized anger expresses itself through passive-aggressive behavior. Although the angry person gives the appearance of serenity, eventually the anger emerges in other ways. Noncompliance illustrates such a response. On the other hand, […]
“Anger repressed can poison a relationship as surely as the cruelest words.”- Dr. Joyce Brothers “Anger was designed to be a visitor, never a resident, in the human heart.”- Dr. Gary Chapman Dr. Gary Chapman begins Chapter 6 (“Explosions and Implosions”) of Anger by noting that “implosive anger can be as damaging as explosive expressions of […]
“Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning Born of the one light, Eden saw play. Praise with elation, praise ev’ry morning, God’s recreation of the new day.”- Verse 3, Morning Has Broken (Eleanor Farjeon, 1931) “There the ships go to and fro, and the leviathan, which you formed to frolic there.”- Psalm 104:26 William […]