All posts in " boundaries "

Breaking point – wait or establish

By Dave Henning / May 8, 2023

“There’s a big difference between waiting for a breaking point and establishing a breaking point. . . .  Establishing a breaking point can sometimes be a boundary that helps a relationship stay healthy.  It clears up the nebulous questions around what is and is not permitted between you and the other person.  That clarity will […]


Bring relief to the grief

By Dave Henning / May 2, 2023

“Good boundaries bring relief to the grief of letting other people’s opinions, issues, desires, and agendas run our life.  But if we see boundaries as a one-way ticket to acting unkind, unchristian, or uncaring, there will be no relief.”- Lysa TerKeurst In Chapter 8 (“Trying to Make Someone Else Happy Shouldn’t Be Your Definition of […]


Dysfunction – cooperating with?

By Dave Henning / April 26, 2023

“In every relationship there are patterns of relating.  If you change the pattern and the other person doesn’t agree with the change, there will be agitation.  The tension exists because you are doing the difficult work of no longer cooperating with dysfunction.”- Lysa TerKeurst “What people don’t work out, they act out.  When someone doesn’t […]


Smelling smoke? – there is fire

By Dave Henning / April 15, 2023

“If you are smelling smoke, there is fire.  And the only reasonable option at this point is either put out the fire or get yourself out of the fire.  Drawing boundaries can help put our fires before they become all-consuming. . . .  boundaries aren’t just a good idea, they are a God idea.”- Lysa […]


Shove love away? – boundaries

By Dave Henning / April 14, 2023

“Boundaries aren’t meant to shove love away.  Quite the opposite.  We set boundaries so we know what we want to do when we very much want to love those around us really well without losing ourselves in the process.  Good boundaries help us preserve the love within us.”- Lysa TerKeurst “A new command I give […]


Weary traveler, restless soul

By Dave Henning / February 20, 2023

“Weary traveler, restless soul / You were never meant to walk this world alone. /It’ll all be worth it, so just hold on. / Weary traveler, you won’t be weary long.”- Jordan St. Cyr “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do […]


Efforts of control or efforts of compassion?

By Dave Henning / March 11, 2021

“I want them (friends, co-workers, family members) saved, but I am not their Savior. . . .  They need Jesus.  They need self-control.  So I shift from efforts of control to efforts of compassion.  Compassion lets me love the person, empathize with their pain, and acknowledge their side of things, even if I don’t agree […]


The currency of relationships

By Dave Henning / July 3, 2020

“Trust is the currency of relationships.  It is the basis upon which we let people into our lives.  When a person is betrayed, the greatest casualty is that trust.  It is also the most difficult to get back.”- Phil Waldrep In Chapter 10 (“Healing”), the concluding chapter of Beyond Betrayal, Phil Waldrep reminds us that […]


Knowing right from wrong — or knowing God

By Dave Henning / October 4, 2018

“We are more interested in knowing right from wrong ( a dominantly left-brain hemisphere function used to cope with fear and shame) than knowing God, which requires integration of all parts of the brain.”- Christian psychologist Curt Thompson, Anatomy of the Soul Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller conclude Chapter 14 of Boundaries for Your Soul […]


Put boundaries around your chaotic feelings

By Dave Henning / September 18, 2018

“Anger can feel chaotic, and so can other emotions.  The task is to let God help you put boundaries around your chaotic feelings. . . .  But just as God contained chaos ‘in the beginning,’ with his help you can grow to love the most difficult parts of yourself and find that ‘the boundary lines […]


Reconciliation – setting boundaries, restoring peace

By Dave Henning / September 14, 2018

“Applied internally, reconciliation involves setting boundaries and restoring peace among the adversarial members of your internal family.”-Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: “Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall.”- Luke 11:17 “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”- […]


Unhealthy ways of relating to painful emotions

By Dave Henning / August 19, 2018

“There are two opposite, unhealthy ways of relating to your painful emotions.  You can keep them too close to you, or you can push them too far away.  If they’re too close, your risk being overwhelmed by them.  If they’re too far, you risk being cut off from them, only to be influenced by them […]

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