Intimacy – a balance of chaos and comfort

By Dave Henning / December 19, 2017

“Intimacy is a balance of chaos and comfort.”- John Ortberg

“Through [Jesus] we . . . have access to the Father by one Spirit.”- Ephesians 2:18

John Ortberg continues Chapter 8 of I’d Like You More . . . as he notes one of the great dangers in human relationships.  Pastor Ortberg cites Scott Peck (The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace, 1988), who identifies that danger as pseudo-community.  Mr. Peck describes pseudo-community as “an inviting but illegitimate shortcut to nowhere.”

Therefore, John adds, there’s only one way out of this danger:

“The only way out of this is to enter into chaos.  Real community requires having the courage to says what I actually think, even though I don’t know how the other person will respond, and even though that not knowing scares me.  Entering into chaos is like diving into a cold pool.  But when we speak the truth . . . we have the opportunity to know one another at a deeper and truer level.  And then growth can happen.”

In contrast, Pastor Ortberg identifies three enemies of intimacy: hurry, pressure, and stress.  As a result, John suggests that sometimes we need to connect with God through disconnecting from everything else.  Thus, if we refuse to be still, we’ll never:

  • know that God is God
  • really pray
  • know real peace

In conclusion, Pastor Ortberg asks you to consider this: “What if the first and last words of your day belonged to God instead of to your in-box?”  For, at some level, all of us want to know if anyone is watching or listening to us.  John reminds us that we have access to the Father, and ends the chapter as he repeats the title – “Something there is that doesn’t love a wall.”

Today’s question: How do you balanced chaos and comfort in your life to create intimacy?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “A crack in everything”

About the author

Dave Henning

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