“We are more interested in knowing right from wrong ( a dominantly left-brain hemisphere function used to cope with fear and shame) than knowing God, which requires integration of all parts of the brain.”- Christian psychologist Curt Thompson, Anatomy of the Soul
Alison Cook and Kimberly Miller conclude Chapter 14 of Boundaries for Your Soul with the fourth and fifth ways to set healthy boundaries with others.
4. How brain science improves intimacy: the wisdom of emotional connection. Alison and Kim note that recent findings in neuroscience teach us that emotions play a key role in helping to process any situation. Thus, high emotional intelligence – deep understanding about one’s own emotions- improves relationships with others. The authors add that you find both emotions and reason in the brain’s cerebral cortex region.
In addition, Curt Thompson posits, when left to its own volition, the human mind tends to detach itself. As a result, the mind conspires to hide the truth as well as the reality of God’s unconditional love. To connect with your own feelings, they must factor in the process of developing healthy boundaries with others.
5. Maintaining healthy distance from others’ unsafe parts. As much as you try to live at peace with everyone (Romans 2:18), sometimes it’s hard to resolve a conflict. Because the person who hurt you has unsafe parts. So, what happens when you discern that the other person won’t change any time soon? Your hurting part needs your Spirit-led self to lead it with careful attention. In another direction!
Also, resolve to place healthy limits on how you relate to others and develop wise strategies. When you must be in that person’s presence. The authors conclude:
“Strength develops from the inside out– from a confidence that emanates from your Spirit-led self as you care for the parts of yourself in need – a confidence that is forged through trust and nuanced self-understanding. Take time to develop that king of strength, and you will not be shaken.”
Today’s question: If you’re honest with yourself, do you find yourself focused more in knowing right from wrong or knowing God? Please share.
Coming Monday, October 8th: the annotation of Boundaries for Your Soul
Tomorrow’s blog: “God’s promises – like Rocky Mountains pine trees”
