Personal growth – a journey, not an event

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By Dave Henning / November 11, 2020

“Personal growth is a journey, not an event.  It’s a becoming.  As author Brene Brown writes, ‘Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.’  Let’s be brave together, friend.”- Aundi Kolber

In Chapter 1 (“But How Long Will It Take?”) of Try Softer, Aundi Kolber observes that many people want an easy fix to their problems.  Just wave a magic wand and get it over with.  Because we dislike sitting in tension or process, especially when we know it involves hard work.  However, Aundi believes, we truly heal through slow and deep work.  The author continues:

“The work of trying softer begins when we release our desire for the quick fix and tend to wounds underneath the surface.  Otherwise we’re going to stay stuck. . . feel more hopeless than ever.  This is why the ability to think about personal growth, people, issues, and relationships as a process matters a great deal.  When people begin to understand that change happens in layers — and is rarely linear — it’s as if someone took a grueling weight off them.”

In addition, we live in a tension.  It’s the tension between living our lives as Kingdom, Christocentric people in a world not yet redeemed.  But, Aundi stresses, the real magic happens in this tension.  First, we accept the idea that process constitutes part of what it means to be human.  As a result, we find ourselves less intimidated by our unmet goals.  Furthermore, we show kindness to the wounded parts of ourselves.

In conclusion, the author urges us to validate our stories:

“Like the ever -elusive quick fix, ignoring, pretending, or numbing something doesn’t usually resolve our pain.  Instead, we must find ways to validate that our stories are real and — although we many not like parts of them — that they are ours.

Such an approach is diametrically opposed to what we’ve been taught.  Instead of trying so hard to forget, we try softer by becoming engages, attentive observers of our bodies, minds, and spirits so that we can give each of these parts what it actually needs to heal.”

Today’s question: What Bible verses sustain you on your journey of personal growth?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “The stories we weave create templates”

About the author

Dave Henning

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