Deep woundedness – forgiveness seems offensive

By Dave Henning / February 20, 2021

“Left to my own deep, deep woundedness, forgiveness can seem offensive, impossible, and one of the quickest ways to compound the unfairness of being wronged. . . .  And it’s that exact spot where I like to park, stew, and focus on everyone else’s wrongs, and rally those who agree with me to join in and further help justify staying right there.”- Lysa TerKeurst

In Chapter 1 (“Forgiveness: the Double-Edged Word”) of Forgiving What You Can’t Forget, Lysa TerKeurst talks about the five soldiers of unforgiveness.  Those soldiers: cynicism, bitterness, resentment, delay, and trust issues.  Thus, for a more detailed description of the five soldiers, please see the February Short Meditation.  It’s titled “Hear the rocks crying glory to God.”

Above all, Lysa stresses, the soldiers of unforgiveness wage war right now against every hurting person.  Because, as Lysa speaks for all of us, “I am a soul who likes the concept of forgiveness . . . until I am a hurting soul who doesn’t.”

Therefore, when we hold on to offense, these soldiers always lead us to isolation.  However, with such a darkened outlook, we find ourselves unable to see the beauty that awaits.  Hence, Lysa talks about her goal for herself – and for us.  She writes:

“The ability to see beautiful again is what I want for you and for me.  Forgiveness is the weapon.  Our choices moving forward are the battleground.  Moving on is the journey.  Being released from that heavy feeling is the reward.  Regaining the possibility of trust and closeness is the sweet victory.  And walking confidently with the Lord from hurt to healing is the freedom that awaits.”

Finally, the author underscores, her message of forgiveness never:

  • diminishes the hurt you experienced or makes light of the anguish you cried millions of tears over
  • justifies the wrong, no matter how others flip it or reframe it
  • refuses to acknowledge your powerful feelings and how powerless you feel when pain floods you
  • demands that you excuse the offense
  • demands you restore all relationships with all people

Today’s question: What Scriptures help lift you out of deep woundedness?  Please share.

Tomorrow’s blog: “A forgiving way – Jesus’ outstretched arms”

About the author

Dave Henning

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