“Because I want to be whole, I must keep other people’s comments about me separate from what I believe about myself. Therefore, I must stay whole by keeping what I know, what I feel, and what I believe in alignment with God’s truth about who I am.”- Lysa TerKeurst
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”- Colossians 3:12 (NIV)
Lysa TerKeurst concludes Chapter 8 of Good Boundaries and Goodbyes with the observation that whole people tend to gravitate to whole people. And fractured people usually attract other fractured people. So, when correct doctrine, correct emotions, and correct living align with who God intends you to be, that’s wholeness.
Consequently, Lysa shares two ways that boundaries help us avoid fractured thinking, feeling, and doing.
1. Boundaries remind us of the right definition of healthy. We live in constant tension when we believe there’s only one way to save a relationship. Keep the other person happy. But this, Lysa counsels, shouldn’t be your definition of healthy. Instead, boundaries finally abolish the notion of having limitations and needs as selfish.
2. Boundaries protect us from fractured people fracturing us. When fractured people empty us, we have little or nothing left to give to anyone else. Because fractured thinking, feeling, and emotions pull us out of alignment with God’s truth.
Above all, we must know who we are so we don’t lose ourselves in others’ fractured reality. It’s not our purpose in life to satisfy the unrealistic demands of other people.
Therefore, Lysa exhorts:
“The Bible clearly states that we are chosen, holy, and dearly loved by God. . . . The best of who we are is made possible by the best of what God has done for us. He has chosen us. He has set us apart for His holy purpose. And He loves us with an intentional and dedicated love that won’t quit on us.”
Today’s question: What Bible verses help keep your identity in alignment with God’s truth? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “People pleasing = inverted security”