You may recall that in Forgiving the Unforgivable, Dr. David Stoops stated that when we forgive too quickly we merely are excusing the behavior. In other words, our forgiveness is incomplete. Brian Jones begins Chapter 5 (“Myths”) of Getting Rid of the Gorilla with a quote by Dr. Stoops from his book, coauthored by Dr. […]
Brian Jones begins Chapter 3 of Getting Rid of the Gorilla with this insightful quote from noted author James Baldwin (Notes of a Native Son): “I imagine that one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, that they will be forced to deal with […]
Brian Jones makes one final distinction between anger and rage in Chapter 2 of Getting Rid of the Gorilla. He adds that while it’s natural to get angry when we’ve been hurt, we make the decision whether or not to turn that anger into rage. So why might that option be so tempting? According to […]
In Chapter 2 of Getting Rid of the Gorilla, Pastor Brian Jones provides a stark contrast between anger and rage. Anger is: 1. Normal 2. Proportionate to the degree of the offense 3. A God-given emotion 4. Directed at a specific individual or group 5. The Greek word for anger in the Bible (orge) means “to be […]
Brian Jones opens Getting Rid of the Gorilla: Confessions on the Struggle to Forgive with this quote on forgiveness by C. S. Lewis (Mere Christianity): “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive.” In other words, while we all know what Jesus said about forgiveness, it is quite another matter […]
Forgiving the Unforgivable Regal Books, 2003) Dr. David Stoops begins this book with these words: “Forgiveness doesn’t come naturally to anyone.” Forgiveness doesn’t come naturally, the author states, because our thought processes cannot comprehend why we need to forgive when we’re the ones who have been injured. In addition, forgiveness creates an internal conflict because […]
Dr. David Stoops (Forgiving the Unforgivable) offers some final thoughts on the process of forgiveness. Forgiveness usually is not a smooth process from start to finish. Sometimes God steps into the process in unimaginable ways. At other times it seems more like we’re poking along on our own. Dr. Stoops then expands on those times […]
Near the end of Forgiving the Unforgivable, Dr. Stoops contrasts the true power of forgiveness with the false sense of control we feel when we withhold forgiveness. His comment is reminiscent of T. D. Jakes’ assertion that holding onto anger is not a replacement for losing something we love. Dr. Stoops states: “We often believe […]
Especially when contemplating a major purchase, we will leave no stone unturned to find the best deal possible. But when it comes to the high cost of unforgiveness to our faith walk with God, we often seem unable or unwilling to find a more “cost-effective” solution. Hannah More, an English religious writer and philanthropist who […]
When I was in grade school. my parents planted a tree on our front lawn, between the sidewalk and the curb. One summer day my mom and I came home to find the tree’s trunk nearly severed. I immediately suspected three tough brothers who lived down the block, previously described in my Short Meditation “Turning […]
According to Dr. David Stoops (Forgiving the Unforgivable), when we are dealing with an offense that is seemingly unforgivable, the answer is that forgiveness is both a process and a decision. Forgiveness is like grieving. It’s a process that takes an indeterminate amount of time, perhaps several years when dealing with an offense that feels […]
Earlier in Forgiving the Unforgivable, Dr. David Stoops stated that anger is a necessary part of the forgiveness process. But not all types of anger are created equal. Is there a type of anger that is productive? Dr. Stoops describes healthy anger this way: “Healthy anger involves a concern with justice, with protecting you and […]