“When the offense is severe, forgiveness does not happen easily. Real forgiveness is a slow, difficult, painful process.”- June Hunt
In Chapter 8 (“Rocks Aren’t Removed Overnight- The Four Stages of Forgiveness”) of How to Forgive, June Hunt states that while forgiveness ultimately is freeing, typically forgiveness is not fast. Boulders of bitterness cannot be simply tossed aside, as if they were small pebbles. Ms. Hunt explains the consequences of taking shortcuts to forgiveness:
” . . . the pain and anguish you’re experiencing is perfectly normal, even healthy. When people take shortcuts through the forgiveness process, they are merely putting Band-Aids on deep wounds. It doesn’t work, and real healing never happens. Deep wounds must heal from the inside out.”
June notes that because the pain of rejection runs deep, you must realize that rejection is just one step away from resentment. Resentment, then, is the result of an unforgiving heart. While you may feel like a forgotten cobblestone on the river bed of life, be assured that God hasn’t forgotten you. June encourages us that whenever the pain of unforgiveness burdens you:
” . . . give those stones of hostility- those stones of scorn- to the Master Paver. Amazing benefits await you. When in His hands, He knows what to do with them and where to put them. He puts them in the right places on His path . . . so that each and every painful experience has eternal purpose.”
June states you will find it helpful to work through a four-stage process of forgiveness. Each progression is a series of decisions with actions that build on each other. In the next blog, June will begin by explaining the necessity of ridding yourself of the toxicity of unforgiveness.
Today’s question: How is it helpful to understand real forgiveness as a process or progression rather than as an instantaneous fix? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Poisonous rocks of resentment”
