“People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.”- Will Rogers
“The challenge is not ‘Don’t get angry’; the challenge is not to sin when we are angry.”- Gary Chapman
In Chapter 3 (“When You’re Angry for Good Reason”) of Anger, Dr. Gary Chapman discusses anger toward someone with whom you have a relationship. In addition to your immediate family, that includes friends and work associates. For you to process your anger toward someone with whom you have a relationship, Dr. Chapman states, requires answering two questions:
a. Is my response positive, exhibiting potential for dealing with the wrong and healing the relationship?
b. Is my response loving, designed to benefit the person at whom I am angry?
Gary counsels a five-step process for dealing with valid anger. He defines valid anger as “anger provoked by genuine wrongdoing on the part of the other person.” The author describes the first step in today’s blog.
1. Consciously acknowledge to yourself that you are angry. At first glance, that concept seems quite obvious. Anyone would know you’re angry. However, conscious is the key word. Often we fly into a rage using a verbal or physical response before consciously acknowledging what is happening inside us.
Dr. Chapman counsels saying the following words out loud: “I am angry about this! Now what am I going to do?” This statement enables you to distinguish between your anger and the action you are going to take. You apply reason to your anger rather than simply being controlled by your emotions.
Gary reiterates that anger is not a sin. The apostle Paul stated it clearly in Ephesians 4:26 (NIV)- “In your anger do not sin.” A positive, constructive response to anger achieves that objective.
Today’s question: Do you fly into a rage when dealing with valid anger? How might Gary’s first step change your thinking? Please share.
Tomorrow’s blog: “Short-tempered people”
